Barftastic!

This post taken wholesale from feministing.com. Though it speaks for itself, can I just say....ugh. As it is I'm already not hot on marriage, due in large part to the studies and first-hand examples indicating that it tends to lead to couples reverting to traditional gender roles and expectations, plus I don't see what it can give me that I can't get from, say, shacking up long-term. But even if I were to want to get married, if I found out my boy had asked my dad for permission to marry me, that shit would be off. But then, I find it hard to believe any guy I dated and wanted to get hitched to would be the type to do that anyway. I have a pretty tough boy screening process, you know.

Now, for that post:

Supposedly more men are asking daddy if it's ok to marry his daughter.

The kick-ass historian Beth Bailey puts this in some context:

‘‘It was a fairly common practice based on the notion of making alliances between families and passing the daughter who was legally the property of the father onto the husband,’’ says Temple University historian Beth Bailey. ‘‘What we’re seeing right now is an odd combination of young people with progressive sentiments and a real desire for conventional gender roles and arrangements’’

At a wedding this summer, I had to stop myself from making retching noises when the bride's father devoted a significant portion of his reception speech to how he knew his son-in-law was "worthy" of his daughter because he asked for permission before proposing. And this was a couple who lived together before getting married -- not exactly a picture of conservatism.

I know I don't need to explain to you, dear Feministing readers, why asking dad for permission to assume ownership of his property marry his daughter is a pretty f'ed up practice. But if you feel like being extra grossed-out, check out this step-by-step "How to Ask Your Girlfriend's Father for Her Hand in Marriage." Yiiikes.

Thanks to Kay for that barftastic link.