pouty pants

I have a serious case of lazy whiny pouty pants. I'd planned to borrow my mom's car and go see folks in Portland, but nooooo, couldn't get a hold of anyone and I have no money so I thought, forget it, I'll stay home. I spent about 5 minutes "job searching", reading the latest email with job postings from careerbuilder, until I grew discouraged and decided it was time to distract myself. So I meandered to the living room, where I spent 3 hours watching Super Nanny and other quality programming, only getting up for bathroom breaks and to re-check the fridge and cupboards while whining to myself, "there's nothing to eeeeeat..."

Then my younger brother arrived, and I made a bold move from the living room recliner to plop in front of my laptop in the office. Finally Jeremy tried to drag me out of the house to go with him and my dad to the river, which required about 20 minutes of pep-talks and then straight up badgering. "But there's nothing to eeeeeat....I don't feeeeeeel like it.....I'm huuuungry......Waaaaaaaa...."

Yes, this is all very charming, I know. Thank god I have a flight out of here on Sunday, or you might find me a year from now, camped out on my mom's couch, buried in snack wrappers.

effing grammar

Okay, so some of you may have been subject to me complaining a while back about this dude I went on a date with who said "oh, I see you're starting to talk like a local" and then pointed out that I had ended a sentence with a preposition. It seems I put "at" at the end of sentences (e.g. "where did you eat lunch at?"), though this structure isn't the result of any Philly influence, it's just the apparently crappy way I talk.

And now (ooh, I started a sentence with and!) I'm writing this paper for school and stupid Word is correcting the phrase "my client said she was the first girlfriend he ever really cared about."

F--- you, Word. Am I really supposed to write "the first girlfriend about whom he ever really cared"? No one talks like that! Boo to your rule! Language is a living thing, I say this rule is dumb. At.

Mormons exposed

Omg, I first heard about this guy putting out a "Mormons exposed" calendar of missionary dudes through jezebel.com, but then I went to the actual website. F%$@^%@ hilarious! Follow this link to "meet the missionaries" -- you click on the picture of each guy, looking fully dorkified in white button-down and dark tie, with slicked down hair and what I'm guessing is the Book of Mormon in hand. But wait! After you click on one, hover your mouse over the picture on his profile and there he is posing shirtless, with his hair mussed up all sexy-like! There are some truly amazing transformations. I had no idea there were so many six-packs hiding under those dress shirts. It makes me wonder how many hum-drum guys I pass each day who could likewise be hot with just a little more hair gel and a lot less clothing...?

Best thing ever. Between this and Trey Parker's character in Orgazmo (below) I think I have found myself a new mission...to corrupt!



Ha ha ha okay kidding. Mostly.

Singaporean government marketing campaigns

I saw these yesterday in my "Comparative Social Welfare" class. Apparently Singapore has a 'psychological defense unit' (forget the name) in charge of marketing to the masses. Too few kids? Promote family! Highly educated and successful women having trouble finding suitable mates? Tell everyone to stop being so picky! The jingles are probably the best part. So good.

Have you ever had a day when, for reasons unbeknownst to you, everyone seemed to like you more than usual? It seemed like everyone was freakishly nice today, male and female, plus the guy at the post office was doing me all these special favors and then he said it was because of my smile, then added that I have beautiful eyes as well. (I then immediately became nervous and stopped smiling. But anyway.) Then when I was walking down the street this guy told me I was gorgeous. I'm totally baffled. Hair in a bun, big overcoat, one eye red because I accidentally jabbed it with a makeup brush while groggy this morning. To think, that's how I could have been dressing to impress the mens all along.